Wednesday, June 20, 2012

9 months

   Its hard to believe my little Adeline is already 9 months. She has been outside of my womb nearly as long as inside of it. Time flies. I don't post as much anymore and I'm not sure why, I suppose focusing my alone-time energy into other things such as personal journaling, crochet and reading. Not too bad of a thing to admit but I really must try to write here more often, I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I guess that is why I now have pen pals but this reaches a larger audience of friends, that is why I like a blog. Lately, my blog has come last but I will try to do a little better.
   We've been rolling with our constant up and down journey but not all bad, actually mostly good. We've been able to do some really beautiful ass kicking hikes lately so that has been fun, we've also been able to spend lots of time with dear friends and just as a family lounging on the deck and grilling. Its been peaceful and romantic in a way.
   As always a move is ahead of us, at least we hope. B applied for a job in Colorado and so far things are looking good but we will see. I love the NW and it will always be home but I am ready for something different. I am ready to explore, try new places, meet new faces, expand my surroundings. We've done lots of searching lately and Colorado is the place we'd like to call home next. Maybe one day we will find ourselves back in the NW but until then its time to make some new trails. We've decided that even if this opportunity doesn't work out for B then we will continue to look for the right job to get us there. :) Exciting possibilities for us, even if they come in a few weeks or a few months.
   Adeline and Xyla are growing so fast. Everyday I witness their growth. Xyla is always coming up with something clever and witty to say and speaking more like a kid. Its hard to realize shes not a toddler anymore, shes accomplished so much in these few years on the planet, shes been exposed to so much, she makes me so proud but man she is a sass. ha. Nothing like her mother...
   Adeline is as sweet as they come. She bats her long lashes at you, shines her blue eyes and grins with her two little teeth. She is a doll. We watch her physical boundaries expand daily. She is so strong and aware of her body, its everything else she has yet to figure out. But just as her big sis and her mama, she is quite the little diva. My daughters are sweet, cute as can be, hilarious, stubborn and sassy. I adore them.
   I have battled my own battles but finally I am on top. I've conquered some inner struggles and each day I build a better me. I've always had a hard time finding peace within myself, at times in life it came much easier than other times, there are many outside factors that play a role in that struggle as well but I'm finding how to work with them and find that peace again.  I'm accepting my role for now, I am a stay at home mom. I struggled with the feeling of isolation from a social life, not providing $$, you know those typical stay at home mom things but it was a phase.. I realized that this is the best thing I could possibly be doing right now. I don't have to worry about things that don't matter, I don't have to worry about papers, employers, tests. I get to take care of my babies, love them every moment of the day, kiss their bumps and sing them to sleep every night. Just as they watch me grow, I watch them. Its wonderful. We have our own little world here, the dogs, the cats, the kids and I. We wait patiently for papa to return from work and we swallow him whole into our world. Its great. =) We take each day as they come and together we continue, Brian is my partner in this and I'm so glad hes the man whose hand I get to hold. One day I will take on the challenge of other things, dive into school and become a midwife (Yes! I still want to become a midwife) but until then, Life Is Good.

This picture captures them both

My little brown and blue eyed girls

One more just because they are cute

My love and I at the top of Pioneer Peek, a butt kicking hike up but so worth the views!

Happy Summer Solstice everyone! I hope this season brings you laughter, love and adventures!!


  1. You sound so happy :)

    Glad things are going so great for you!

    1. Thanks Rachel! Our life has been so crazy these last few years and we've had many people in our lives trying to make it harder but thankfully we are not only overcoming our individual struggles and family struggles we are finding out who is important to us and who isn't. Its a very very hard thing to realize that some people, even family, shouldn't be apart of your life because of the damage they cause. What a lesson!