Sunday, January 8, 2012

The proof of the pudding...

**ADD IN...Ironic enough I just read a blog from "mamabirth" that talks about this a little as well...**

As I sat and read through several different "mama" blogs tonight I noticed something, something that had struck me before but for some reason I never put too much into it, moms, especially us "crunchy', "attached parenting" moms seem to really go overboard on stating exactly what "type" of mom we are. I always see this list of I...cloth diaper, wear my baby, breastfeed etc etc. Its like some sort of disclaimer. I'm not hating on moms for saying "this is who I am and what I'm about..." I've done this, I still do this (and probably have recently), I just don't understand why us moms feel that we have to constantly prove ourselves to the world. I know "mainstream" society seems to downplay the importance of the female role but has it affected us that much that we have to boast about trying to be the best parent to and for our babies. We end up fighting eachother or making the other parent feel bad when really all we all want is happy healthy babies that love us. I don't know if this has always been the case with mother to mother relationships or if the recent increase in "communication" such as blogs, facebook etc has played a role in this behavior but I'm tired of it. I feel crappy about this. Just be the best parent you can don't have to prove it to me.

side note...


'The proof of the pudding' is just shorthand for 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating'. That longer version makes sense at least, whereas the shortened version really doesn't mean anything - nor does the often-quoted incorrect variation 'the proof is in the pudding'. The continued use of that meaningless version is no doubt bolstered by the fact that the correct version isn't at all easy to understand.
The meaning become clear when you know that 'proof' here is a verb meaning 'test'. The more common meaning of 'proof' in our day and age is the noun meaning 'the evidence that demonstrates a truth' - as in a mathematical or legal proof. The verb form meaning 'to test' is less often used these days, although it does survive in several commonly used phrases: 'the exception that proves the rule', 'proof-read', 'proving-ground', etc. When bakers 'prove' yeast they are letting it stand in warm water for a time, to determine that it is active. Clearly, the distinction between these two forms of the word was originally quite slight and the proof in a 'showing to be true' sense is merely the successful outcome of a test of whether a proposition is correct or not.
'The proof of the pudding is in the eating' is a very old proverb. The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations dates it back to the early 14th century, albeit without offering any supporting evidence for that assertion. The phrase is widely attributed to Cervantes in The History of Don Quixote. This appears to be by virtue of an early 18th century translation by Peter Motteux, which has been criticised by later scholars as 'a loose paraphrase' and 'Franco-Cockney'. Crucially the Spanish word for pudding - 'budín', doesn't appear in the original Spanish text. It is doubtful that 'the proof of the pudding' was a figurative phrase that was known to Cervantes.
The earliest printed example of the proverb that I can find is in William Camden's Remaines of a Greater Worke Concerning Britaine, 1605:
"All the proof of a pudding is in the eating."
It is worth remembering that, as the phrase is quite old, the pudding wouldn't have been a sticky toffee pudding from the sweet trolley, but a potentially fatal savoury dish. In Camden's listing of proverbs he also includes "If you eat a pudding at home, the dog may have the skin", which suggests that the pudding he had in mind was some form of sausage. THE OED describes the mediaeval pudding as 'the stomach or one of the entrails of a pig, sheep, or other animal, stuffed with a mixture of minced meat, suet, oatmeal, seasoning, etc., and boiled'. Those of you who have ventured north of the border on Burns Night will recognize this as a fair description of a haggis - "the great chieftain o' the pudding-race", as Burns called it in the poem Address to a Haggis, 1786. Mediaeval peasants, faced with a boiled up farmyard massacre, might have thought a taste test to have been a wise choice.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Slow down mama, you're moving too fast...

These last few months my list of things I want to learn, make, do has grown so quickly. For some reason I tend to overwhelm myself with things Id like to accomplish and then become very disappointed in myself when I dont acomplish them.
Im not sure why I do this, I guess I want to be supermom... Make their toys, grow their food, make their clothes, you know that sort of stuff. I guess the desire stems from a not so terrible place but unfortunately is has caused me to become exhausted, overwhelmed and then terribly bummed out because I dont feel like Im doing enough. Its a weird cycle I have found myself stuck in these last few weeks. I think the holidays kicked that up quite a bit. I cooked, I cleaned, I baked, I made presents...I just slowly overloaded myself with things to do. And let me tell you, Ive got plenty of "things to do" already, three dogs, a cat and two kids keeps me plenty busy.
 So just when the holidays of my babes turn 3. Third birthday, kind of a big deal so I can't be lazy on this! Well again I tried to take on too much and totally stressed myself I asked for help. Something I have a hard time doing, even if Im asking my mister. I have a hard time admitting my short comings I suppose. I feel a lot better though. The mamas I asked for help have been more than amazing and an old friend even offered to come and help me bake all the cupcakes, the idea of frosting 30+ cupcakes really made me tired. In the end...thank you friends and mister for helping me get this done. Well almost done, the party is in two days and I think Im ready. No actually Im not, I still have several things to do. ha. There is another family birthday this month but I will not be hosting a party or anything of that nature, its my birthday. ;)
From here on out, Im slowing myself down and taking it easy. I feel like Im missing the important moments because Im trying to be a better mom. Im going to just take it one thing at a time. Ive accomplished a few of my little goals but Im going to slow down on the rest. Silly huh? I probably sound pretty crazy to those who don't have kids yet.

Oh life...

 Just when you feel like you're about to explode...ask for help, itll make you feel better trust me.